The Smartest Man I Know...Arthur Rogers

So this picture is a bit like those you see in the obituaries where you think it is a young person who had died until you see their age. But it was the best one I have of my brother Arthur, obviously he has been a bit camera shy around me.

People who are told they have a high IQ are seen as having a lot of knowledge and/or a great ability to learn and use their brains better than the average person. My brother Arthur is 66 today and has acquired a lot of knowledge in his lifetime. He knows how to do anything and everything. Nothing can get by him. He is the Rogers' Macgyver. I suspect that if he was tested his score would be over 140 which is considered a genius.

There is another type of intelligence called "Social Intelligence" which I think describes my brother's best characteristic. It is the ability to understand people and to act wisely in human relations. To have both types of intelligence is rare, but Arthur has been blessed by both.

I have a lot of fond memories of Arthur from the early days when he and Brenda were first married and my little brother and I crawled up in bed with them when they lived with us for a short time to times when he rolled and fixed my hair. But my fondest memories are of the times he cared for our mom, taking her to see her eye doctor, fixing things around her home and making major home renovations that improved her life. Never once have I ever heard him speak unkindly of our mother. And he never allowed anyone else to either. He honored her until the day she died and continues to honor her through the things he did for her while she was alive. He has truly lived the 2nd Commandment of our Heavenly Father to "Honor your father and your mother."

My prayer for you on this your 66th birthday is that your children and grandchildren will honor you in much the same way that you have set the example with your life.

Happy Birthday Big Brother

Have you ever needed help, but didn't know it? There was a time in my life, not that long ago, that I these words fit my life. Thankfully, my oldest brother Carl knew and came to my aid. I remember when he and his wife Jenny came to our home to help; the sense of weight being lifted off my shoulders was unbelievable. I remember the strength they gave me just knowing they were there to share in one of the most difficult times of my families life. It seems like it was just yesterday, but it has actually been over 3 years ago. It's something I will always remember and be grateful for.

Being an engineer, you might think that he would analyze the situation, develop an action plan and fix it like he does most of the time. But instead he was just there to lean on. I saw a side of him that I think few see.

God has a plan when he allows us to go through difficult times. Each person comes through it with a different outlook on life, a change of heart, finds what is really important in life and never sees things the same. I think God wanted me to see Carl in a way I had never seen him. While I have always loved him, I love him differently now a type of love that says I want to be there for him when he goes through dark days. My heart was soften toward my brother who I use to think was untouchable.

Happy 70th birthday brother! You don't look your age or act your age. Not too many people can say at 70 they still do everything they have always done, well maybe your a little slower. No you are just taking your time these days. May God give you many more years.

"Wisdom belongs to the aged, and understanding to those who have lived many years." Job 12:12

Influences can never be measured

I will eternally be grateful for the years that my brother Buck spent with my daughter as she was growing up, as well as for me when I was growing up.

He was the grandfather she never had. Picking her up from school and taking her to dance. He even took her to school with him in the summer months, making her feel important as his assistant principal. She loved school because of his influence on her. Even when he was going to fill in his swimming pool, he knew she loved to swim and waiting several years later to fill it in. As she was near her high school graduation and we were in transition of moving to another town, he created a safe experience for her to live on her own for the first time in his garage apartment.

When I was growing up, I spent many wonderful times with him, his wife Diana and their son. I have lots of great memories of going on wagon trains, sleigh riding and water skiing. But most of all, I appreciate the time he took to pick up my younger brother and myself and take us to church each week. I am not sure where I would be in my spiritual walk if he had not done this.

So while he was there for my daughter when my job was very demanding. He was there for me once again.

Buck now has his own grandchild Brady and is a wonderful grandfather to him--sharing many wonderful moments and creating many beautiful memories as he did with us.

Someone once said, “We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.” I think all of us, although different ages, reflect a little of Buck Rogers in each of our lives.

We are called to be servants

Galatians 5:13 talks about using the freedom God has given us to serve each other in love. The next 5 blogs will reflect the servanthood that I have seen from each of my brothers who have served others in love.

I tear up as I think of my brother Richard as he faithfully cared for his wife Yvonne for over 20 years after she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. From the morning that she started having trouble writing to the day she died, he cared for her every need. He was insistent upon being seen this same day, sitting in the waiting room for hours, not giving in for a later appointment-- the diagnosis and surgery all happened in less than a week. Nonetheless, her prognosis was grim, the maximum amount of radiation would be given over the next month.

Initially, she did well, but what most people don't realize is that radiation continues to work after treatment. She gradually had the mentality of a young child and then a baby and Richard took care of her every need just as we do our children. Through seizures, multiple falls which caused major injuries to herself, bedridden and infections, Richard stayed by her side. While he was working, he provided care through two ladies who cared for Yvonne like their own.

None of us know except for Richard all of the times that they struggled. Little by little he has shared with me things that happened during those years. Both laughing and crying over her wheelchair getting away from him as he took her outside and then struggling to pull her up the stairs to get back in--sitting down and lifting her under her arms one by one to the top.

He never complained and looks at those times as very precious. In the last several years before her death, she was unable to do much more than communicate with her eyes. He knew her so well, that he knew what she was saying. There was no need for words. He always put her first, taking no time to take care of his own health problems, but waiting until after her death to have surgery himself.

Christ came not to be served, but to serve. (Mark 10:45) He is our teacher our mentor. To love like Richard loved Yvonne is to love like God intends us to love--serving one another.

Open the Eyes of My Heart

I had another "ah-ha" moment this week because it revealed how God is working in our lives. It is just too bad that I am just now getting it.

Last week my sister-in-law Jenny was at Mayo Clinic in FL with her sister Brenda who has been really sick and getting worse. I just happened to mention to her that I knew a neurologist there and he was a great Christian. A week later Jenny called in a panic. The doctor they had been seeing had left town for a month. They had been going through testing for 2 weeks and now seemed to be left hanging.

I contacted Dr. Cheshire and asked if he could see her since her doctor was now out of town. To be honest, with all the hoops we seem to have to jump through just to get to see a doctor and since she already was being seen by one at Mayo, I didn't have a lot of hope that he could see her. But I thought no harm in asking. The wheels started turning from that point and long story short, he was "amazing" and they felt God's hand in everything from that point on. She called me with tears of joy several times to keep me informed. He had called Brenda himself more than once, ordered a couple of additional tests and followed up with her primary care doctor. Her doctor was also impressed with him.


The revelation was that God brings people into our lives for a purpose. It had been 4 years ago since Dr. Cheshire and his son stayed with us for a couple of days. We have communicated and back and forth from time to time and I prayed for him and his family during some difficult days. I would have never imagined that one day I would ask for his help. I would have never imagined that someone I knew would be in need of his particular specialty and would be at his hospital in the future.

So now I am wondering how God can use me to serve those who have come in contact with me. Or how many opportunities I have missed where God was opening the doors and I never went through. It makes me sing "Open the eyes of my heart."

20 East, Line 67 - Priorities

I don't have time to visit a friend who is sick, but I have time to go to the movies. I don't have time to write a letter to an old friend, but I have time to take a walk. I don't have time to volunteer at the dental clinic, but I have time to shop.

Maybe it's more like we make time to do what we what to do. Yeah, I knew that already, but guess I didn't really want to admit it. It really hit close to my heart yesterday. So maybe it is more like--I don't make time to visit a friend who is sick or I don't make time to write a letter to an old friend or I don't make time to volunteer at the dental clinic.

Yesterday I took time (leaving work for a couple of hours) to go to the opening ceremonies in Johnson City of the traveling Vietnam Memorial Wall. I am so glad I did. It was a beautiful ceremony honoring those who fought and died to free Vietnam of Communism. 58,228 Americans killed, 153,452 wounded and 1740 still missing. I had been to the Memorial in DC and realized it would be a very sobering time, but I wasn't prepared to see the veterans who attended to honor their commrades. The Vietnam war wasn't one that we can be especially proud of; but one of the speakers said, "I did what my country asked me to do." This wall is appropriated called "The Wall That Heals."

I didn't have time to go and felt guilty leaving a desk full of work to attend; but there was something that drew me to the ceremony. As I laid the newspaper clipping of my brothers death at the wall in front of his name 20 East, line 67, I prayed for healing for those of us who have lost family and friends to war and for the healing for our nation. Our priorities can and do make a difference in the lives of others and in our own.

Forty-One Years of Great Memories

Recently I saw the new Star Trek XI movie and as I was watching it I couldn't help thinking of my sister Mary. She was the one who got me interested in Star Trek which evolved into my love for science fiction. She would have really loved this movie as it went back to the times when Kirk and Spock were cadets in Star Fleet Academy.

When someone we love dies, things often unexpectedly jog our memory of them like this movie did for me. And of course one thought leads to another and before we realize it, we realize the legacy that the person has left behind. Other wonderful memories of her include the times she gave my toddler daughter chocolate because it made her "crazy." She thought it was really funny until the night she ended up keeping her all night for us and she had fed her Reese Peanut Butter Cups. I never had to worry if my hairstyle was up to date, she was the best hair dresser (designer) ever. She cooked all day on Sundays so that her family would have food to eat when she worked late. Her macaroni salad was better than a 5-star restaurants. She hated to lose when we played games and would cheat if she had to in order to win, passing cards under the table to me with her toes. She gave me my first and only pedicure when I was 9 months pregnant, supposedly I couldn't touch my toes. I remember 2 elderly ladies who were blind that were her customers. She would pick them up from their homes and bring back to her beauty shop to fix their hair. It was an all day outing for them. She became involved in the Cancer Center's program "Look Good, Feel Better" in it's early days and before volunteering became posh. She was great at everything she did including being a sister, a friend, a daughter, a wife and a mother.

So what kind of legacy memories are we leaving for others to remember us by? I hope the ones I leave behind are as memorable, interesting and funny as Mary left for us.