Have you ever needed help, but didn't know it? There was a time in my life, not that long ago, that I these words fit my life. Thankfully, my oldest brother Carl knew and came to my aid. I remember when he and his wife Jenny came to our home to help; the sense of weight being lifted off my shoulders was unbelievable. I remember the strength they gave me just knowing they were there to share in one of the most difficult times of my families life. It seems like it was just yesterday, but it has actually been over 3 years ago. It's something I will always remember and be grateful for.Being an engineer, you might think that he would analyze the situation, develop an action plan and fix it like he does most of the time. But instead he was just there to lean on. I saw a side of him that I think few see.
God has a plan when he allows us to go through difficult times. Each person comes through it with a different outlook on life, a change of heart, finds what is really important in life and never sees things the same. I think God wanted me to see Carl in a way I had never seen him. While I have always loved him, I love him differently now a type of love that says I want to be there for him when he goes through dark days. My heart was soften toward my brother who I use to think was untouchable.
Happy 70th birthday brother! You don't look your age or act your age. Not too many people can say at 70 they still do everything they have always done, well maybe your a little slower. No you are just taking your time these days. May God give you many more years.
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Few people truly see the man that I know as my father. This is a man who thoughtfully crafted his parenting to prepare me for a challenging life, in a modern time where gender roles are constantly changing, the necessity for formal education is constantly increasing, and parental involvement in child development is more important than ever.
ReplyDeleteMy father was never "my best friend." As an parent, I see how hard that can really be. I want to be a friend to my own children. I want to be their confidante. But sometimes that creates a conflict, especially when the hard parenting choices arise. Instead of being my best friend, he was my greatest mentor. He was my favorite teacher. He was my most valuable coach. He was the master craftsman, and I was his apprentice. He was the woodsman and outdoorsman, and I often felt like the city-slicker. He was my "safety man", and I was the new employee. He was the professor, while I was the new student. He was and still is, the father that I needed.
He was sometimes too stern, but I always needed that. He was sometimes judgemental, but I needed to be judged. He always expected more from me, and I could always do better. He always praised my positive attributes, but not quite enough. This always make me work harder to please him. He was not perfect: very human. I always knew that. But he knew I wasn't perfect, too. And he never expected me to be.
He was there when I made the worst decisions that a person could ever make. He was there to see me make the best choices, too. He was there to tell me when I was wrong. And he was always there to tell me "good job." He came to my football games, wrestling matches, school plays, and even university chorale performances.
Now, I get to share with my father some very unique things that he has enabled me to do. I have shared the flightdeck of an aircraft carrier with my engineering mentor. I have walked the beaches of Hawaii with my outdoorsman. I have shared snow, rain, hail, sleet, and unimaginable heat. We have rehabilitated entire houses, changed rotors and brakepads, mended fences, landscaped, and other very productive ventures. We've also shared rock and roll, bluegrass, our own stories about women and other crazy people we have known, and drank a bit of whiskey and a beer or two.
Things change, though. I don't need to be told to "buck up" or "shake it off." I don't need a band-aid. I don't need a hug and a kiss after a nightmare. (Although sometimes, I must admit, it would be nice.)
He now provides guidance when I have unruly employees. He helps me create unique solutions to tough engineering problems. But more importantly: he held me and comforted me, when as a grown man I cried. He helped me through depression, when I had marital difficulties. He helps me be a better father, through his own past successes and his own past failures. When I experienced personal failures, he was able to see in my eyes that I didn't need, "I told you so." I needed my daddy.
He has been, and will always be, my daddy.
posted by: Mark Allen Rogers,
son of Carl M. Rogers
No one would know him quite like his sons. Thanks for allowing me to see in. Margie
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